Doing the Dishes: The Breakdown

When I walk into our kitchen I feel so much better, actually prefer being in the room and cooking there…when it’s clean.  And really, by clean…I mean that the dishes are done.  What does “done” look like?  What does doing the dishes actually mean?  It means different things to different people. 
This was a source of contention in college.  We’d bicker about who’s turn it was to do the dishes…who’s dishes were sitting in the sink making that weird smell….who used the last clean spoon?  Then, fast forward to early marriage and parenting years,…doing the dishes can create a literal breakdown!  A wise friend once told me, “Don’t let roommate problems become marriage problems.” So let’s break it down…What does doing the dishes mean and how do we make it manageable?

Step 1) Define it
What does doing the dishes mean? Does it mean throwing the dishes in the dishwasher? Does it mean washing by hand? Does it include putting away the dishes or searching around the house to find stray dirty dishes lingering in rooms? I think you get the point…Figure out what “doing the dishes” means to you.

Step 2) Break it down (i.e. task analysis)
Break the task into smaller steps and take it one step at a time.  This is what doing the dishes looks like to me:

1. Notice sink, dish bucket and counter are full of dishes
2. Empty sink
3. Place bucket into sink
4. Fill with soap & water
5. Put clean, dry dishes that are in drying rack & on the counter away
6. Wash dishes, rinse & place into drying rack
7. Wipe down counter, stove & table

I might end here if I’m doing dishes in the evening and don’t want to dry dishes and put them away.  While I may save that for the morning, I love having a clean kitchen when I wake up so:

1. Dry dishes
2. Put dishes away
3.  Hang drying towel/put in the laundry basket

 
Step 2.5) Time analysis (because it involves the task analysis part)
Now, I have to be honest here…there were those days where just looking at that endless pile of dirty dishes made me turn around and walk out of the kitchen.  I knew that avoiding it really didn’t make it go away and that I’d have to go in there eventually to take care of business. But, seriously, It felt like there were so many and that it would take me forever…so I’d procrastinate and do something else (even though this was still on my to-do list in the back of my mind)…if I could calculate the time that I procrastinated on this task, it probably added up to hours (maybe even days).  So…I decided to break it down and see how long “doing the dishes” really takes me in this season of life.
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1. Make decision to wash the dishes: 1 second

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2.  Before I could tackle today’s dishes, I put yesterday’s clean, dry dishes away.  That took me 5 minutes to complete.

3.  Wash today’s dishes: 7 minutes and 45 seconds. And it even included the pans!

4.  Dry & put away dishes: 4 min.
5.  Complete the wrap-up part: 2 min. This included wiping down the counters, table, emptying the sink drain strainer and tossing the dirty cloth in the laundry and hanging the remaining ones. 

The total time it took me to do the dishes (including putting away the ones from the night before) was 18 minutes and 45 seconds.  If I deduct the time it took me to put away yesterday’s dishes, it would only have taken me 13 min. and 45 seconds…less than 15 minutes! And a light bulb moment occurred as I thought to myself, “You mean to tell me that I would spend hours (sometimes days) avoiding a task that took me less than 15 minutes to complete?” Wow, that really put things into perspective and made getting started feel much easier.
 
Step 3) Reframe it 
I used to hate doing the dishes…UGH, UGH, UGH…but after becoming a mom something happened that I never thought would happen…I had very little time to myself and I had no idea how much I’d value that little bit of time.  Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love being a mom, the family time and being able to connect with my loved ones. However, sometimes it’s just nice to have a little alone time to catch my breath…to reflect. So, I don’t feel the same way I used to about doing the dishes.  I appreciate that moment while doing dishes to look out the window at the agile squirrels doing acrobatics in the yard; or having quiet reflection time; or time to listen to an audio book/podcast…or one of my favorites…jam to some of my favorite tunes.  It even turns into an opportunity to connect with loved ones when we share parts of the task together. Yes, there are days when seeing the kitchen mess feels overwhelming and I revert back to my former self and I just don’t wanna do them…but then I remember how much better my family and I can function…when the dishes are done…and when I remember that really it doesn’t take that long to do the dishes…when I break it down.